News from Vermont #228 -- Billie Deer

Burr Morse
Morse Farm Maple Sugarworks
Montpelier, VT
www.morsefarm.com

Hello again Maple People,

We're sure saying "hello" to the new year's wintery début here in Central Vermont and these days, totally different sounds are coming from the woods. January's frigid temperatures bring explosive cracking sounds from the beeches and maples similar to our deer season's rifle and muzzleloader "reports" we've finally stopped hearing. It seems as if our deer season has lengthened in years of late with the addition of a "youth" day, two bow and arrow seasons, and a muzzleloader season added to the usual two week rifle season. Now don't get me wrong...I used to grow vegetables and berries for my living so I still haven't shaken the old thought that "the only good deer is one in the freezer!". Yup, according to the stats., there'll be at least 3290 fewer of the rascals filling up on garden peas and farmers' alfalfa this coming summer. The down-side, however, comes with the heavy artillery; seems like there are more hunters than ever and frankly, you have to wonder if they always know what they're shootin' at.

This reminds me of a story my friend Norm Kelley recently told about old Rome VanOrnum who lived up on the edge of Curtis Pond in Maple Corner. Rome was a goat farmer, musician, long time Vermonter and most distinguishable, a true character. As the story goes, one time in deer season a guy pulled up in his car with down-country plates and headed out through Rome's upper field. Always one to "live and let live", Rome wasn't upset that those folks were using his land. "Yup they're city slickers alright" he would have said in his nasal, high pitched voice, "but if they'll just behave themselves, I don't mind share'n it with em." Next thing he knew, the city slicker was dragging an animal back to the car and when Rome walked over to investigate, he realized it wasn't quite the "deer" story he expected.

"T'wern't no deer th' cuss was draggin'" Rome related "but one-a-my goats all field dressed and tagged!". He went on to say the guy was "prouder'n hell of his 'deer'"! At this point most farmers would have "melted down" but that was never Rome VanOrnum's style. Norm said that Rome must have done some quick "on his feet thinkin'" about the best way to pass Yankee justice on to this idiot. He walked up to the carcass, smacked his lips, and allowed how "there'd be some mighty good eatin' there". He praised the guy for his trophy buck, guesstimated the weight, and even helped heft it up and tie it to the car's bumper!

Rome, still thinking, kept on praising the man and suggested that the "deer" might even set a record for weight. He told the guy where the nearest reporting station was, his excitment reaching falsetto-range..."why I'm even gointa call a bunch a my friends t'meet you theyah so's they can see this record buck and, by God, I'll call the papah t'get a pitcher, too!". The man beamed from ear to ear as he reached a bloody hand out to shake Rome's, got in his car, and headed out to legalize his kill.

Norm never really finished the story but I can just imagine that fool's reception when he reached the reporting station: there would have been a group of rag-tag but mean looking Vermont natives, a uniformed game warden and a Times Argus photographer at the ready. The words "You gotta be kidding" followed by the words "You are under arrest!" would have cut the fool's pride quicker'n a bullet [whistles through the trees. And, best of all, I can just picture Rome VanOrnum, goat farmer, Vermonter, musician, back home laughin' his head off for just having played a city slicker like a fiddle! He no doubt was paid amply for his loss once the State finished with that down-country guy and, fortunately, no human was killed that day. As we look toward next year's hunting season, however, we all need to keep our orange hunting wear handy and never make goat sounds because, for certain, someone might mistake us for a deer.

The Morse Farm staff and Tom, Elliott and I hope that you're all enjoying a great beginning to 2011. Our winter so far brings little snow and hordes of cross country skiers clammering to ski...Mother Nature continues to assert her upper hand! Another place she comes into play is sugaring, our next season. In less than a month, we'll be out tapping our trees getting ready for Maple season's necessary freezing nights and thawing days. In the meantime, we've still got quite a lot of syrup on hand and we need to empty those stainless steel drums to make room for the new crop. Either go to www.morsefarm.com, call 1-800-242-2740 or come on up.

Happy New Year!

With more dialogue....

and the Morse Farm family