January 26, 2017
Hello again Maple People,
Gol-dern bananas! They’re very nutritious and I know we should eat one every day but getting into them is for the birds (or the monkeys). So often that stem at the top is so tough it requires a sharp knife, or a set of sharp chompers, and then there’s the “mush” factor when you get too rough. The other day I was having a wicked hard time with one and Betsy stopped me mid-chomp. “Y’know Burr”, she said. “Monkeys are much smarter’n you.”. “Huh, say what?” I responded, a bit insulted already. Then she grabbed the banana and showed me that monkeys open them from the bottom up. I tried it and, voila, the bottom end was soft and succulent and was obviously the best way to open a banana. Monkeys are, indeed, smarter than me.
Although this old writer failed the “banana” test, I usually do have sense enough to size up my surroundings and behave accordingly (some call it “common sense”), a trait that seems to have disappeared at a wholesale level these days…brings to mind a story I once heard about an old guy up in Calais. It seems he had a bit of a drinking problem. One time he stumbled home late in bowels of the morning after a night on the town. His wife had locked all the doors and gone to bed, madder’n a wet hen. He pounded and pounded, waking her up, but she would not budge.
The frigid temperature called for some rather careful thinking. He looked around at his options and his eyes fell on their water well surrounded by rather large flat stones. “Do you suppose?”, he thought, already heading for one of the biggest rocks. Struggling with it, he finally pried it from its resting place and dropped it “Kerplunk”, into the well. The splash was so great that the Mrs. heard it from inside the house. She, thinking that her drunken husband had fallen into the well, rushed out to rescue him. He, hiding behind a nearby bush, rushed in and quickly locked the door, leaving poor wifey outside in the cold for the remainder of the night.
Now I’m not suggesting that stumbling home drunk late at night is a smart thing to do but at least the old guy had a survival plan for the short run, something that our country seems to be missing these days. Take, for instance, our national debt of about 20 trillion dollars and, I say, what in the world is our survival plan for that? I dunno…guess I’ll go find a monkey and ask him.